asmilk | Date me, Victor Zsasz

"It seems I got them into a little trouble by accident. I drew attention to us and Roman Sionis ended up hassling them." Lucius had apologised and promised to make it up to them, though he wasn't entirely sure how. It just kind of sucked, he didn't like when his friends got hurt. He leaned forward and tuned the radio, looking for something to listen to.

"From what I gather, Roman is not overly bright and the word experiment had instant negative connotations."

Finally settling on some jazz, Lucius leaned back and turned, looking at Victor apologetically. "I hope I didn't cause you any trouble either. Or upset. I assure you, experiments aren't always sinister or bad."

"I know that." And he felt as if maybe he should defend Roman's intelligence, but it was a tough call. "Roman's just paranoid." There was that. Paranoid and very bad at coping with change or anything that felt bad to him. Usually Victor put some energy into things not being bad for Roman, but he had less of that drive currently.

"I'm not upset. Good luck with your experiment." Seemed like a good enough reason to do this. "Even after this, you can let me know if people are giving you trouble. By the way. Never liked bigots."

That was true enough too. His parents had never been conservative, so even before Victor got to choose who to hang out with, he had had acquaintances that were outside of what the Gotham elite felt the norm should be.

"I appreciate that. I am hoping that I will avoid the worst of it but I have already prepared myself for whatever will come next. I am certain that my hypothesis is correct so this is just something I will have to accept about life." That he was gay and some people may not like it but that was fine, not everyone would hate him for it and he just had to pick the people he wanted to surround himself with and remove those who he didn't like.

At least he picked the right person to test with. Victor was open, pleasant and didn't seem to want more than Lucius wanted to give. He also didn't seem repulsed by what he was giving either.

"Perhaps you could ask Roman to go easy on Edward and Oswald. They are quite terrified of him."

"People are less weird about it after high school, I think." Seemed to be the case, anyway. "I got some people I know who do just fine without fitting in."

Victor supposed he did too, in a way. He also wasn't straight either, but he supposed the way he was and how much money he had kind of kept people from questioning that too much too. It was strange how people worked. Speaking of... "I can try talking to Roman, but he's difficult. Might just bother them more."

He wasn't easily controlled. Hard to predict and endlessly awkward. "Might tell Sea. Pay him off."

"I imagine so. In my building, I live opposite a lovely drag queen. She checked in on my mother often. She has no trouble making friends, she is quite popular." She always called him cutie and helped out when his mom wasn't doing so well. In the summer last year when his mom accidentally ODed, she helped him call the hospital and perform CPR. It wasn't an intentional overdose, just mixing too many meds but even so, he really appreciated her. "Where I live, different is good."

He wasn't quite in the Narrows, he was just outside of it and that meant, it was mostly ostracised people, not so much poor people.

"Roman has always been unpredictable, I remember him well from childhood. His tantrums were quite something." He imagined Victor wouldn't be able to control him. "I understand if you can't get him to stop, it's okay."

"I hope your mother is doing well." Victor wasn't quite sure what to say, because he had no idea what was going on with Lucius's mother, but he felt that wishing her well couldn't hurt, since Lucius seemed to like her. "I like different. Like you. You are different and that's very good."

He smiled a little at Lucius from the side and then focused on the road again, although they were outside Gotham now, so it wasn't as if there was much traffic. "I can probably reign Roman in. Issue is that Sea has a thing with one of your friends. The shorter one. Don't know what."

Narrows stuff, he imagined.

"My mother is well, she just got herself a chakra pyramid stone so she is feeling at peace." Lucius thought it was utter nonsense but unlike Ed, he didn't have the overwhelming urge to point that out. Whatever made her happy, it made him happy. "I'm feeling more at peace too. She kept burning sage and it was making me very anxious." For two reasons - the fire and the smell.

"I'm not overly surprised to learn that Oswald is the one he'd target. Oswald has a way of provoking people." Which was funny because he was also the best at talking to people yet seemed to use that ability to be an asshole. "Oswald is very ... angry at the world. He seeks to upset."

Sad but true. He looked around and took in the outer Gotham area. "It's very quite here. Must be peaceful."

"Then maybe Sea dislikes him because they have so much in common." Because much as Roman seemed to mostly consider Sea a fun pet, Victor could see how much anger or outright hatred there was inside him. Not surprising, he supposed the Narrows fostered that kind of temper.

Looking around, Victor lifted his shoulders a little. "Suppose so. My parents wanted to live somewhere away from the city." There was probably chakra pyramid stone reasoning for that too. "Too quiet sometimes."

"I would imagine it can feel quite isolating." He liked the idea of living alone but then, he imagined it would be weird without the background noise of parties and people chattering away. He was sure he'd adapt well but then, he liked silence. He knew that was rare. Even people who believed they liked silence didn't truly like silence. "It's hard to imagine being outside of Gotham sometimes, even if I am aware people leave all the time. Oswald always says there is no world outside of Gotham - to him, there isn't."

Edward never much talked about Gotham, he just lived there but Oswald talked a lot. He loved the gang wars, the terrible food, the crime and the chaos. He waxed lyrical on it often.

"It's very bright. Outside Gotham. Doesn't always feel real." So maybe Victor could relate with it a little. "I don't mind the quiet. I like it more when there could be sound."

Because now there couldn't really be, since his parents weren't coming home. It was a very final silence now, made it less peaceful. Victor turned the car to head up to his estate, stopping as he waited for the outer gate to open. "Technically, this is still Gotham. Just only rich estates. Less people."

"It is very .. affluent here." He looked around and then tilted his head back, looking at the estate ahead of them with wide eyes. This place was very expensive. Stupidly expensive. It was massive, well designed and had a lot of land surrounding it. He looked down at his scuffed trainers and felt very underdressed. Maybe he should have worn his best shoes and shirt.

"Do you live alone, Victor?" He always spoke of his parents in past tense and he vaguely recalled rumours of Victor Zsasz's parents passing but he wanted to hear it from Victor himself.

"Uh-huh. There's staff sometimes, but they shouldn't be around now." He knew the cook would have made something, since he asked, and one or two of the maids might be on the premises, but probably in their own quarters, so it wasn't all that relevant. He vaguely knew who he had on payroll, but it wasn't as if he cared that much whether they actually did their jobs. Luckily, they were reliable, his parents had never been around much anyway, so they were used to handling a vacated house.

He got out the car and walked around, opening the door for Lucius and holding a hand out to him. "I know it's big, but don't worry. I'll make sure you can't get lost."

"That is appreciated." Accepting the hand, he tried not to blush as he held on tight. Walking beside Victor, he looked around the estate and tried to work out how it would feel to lose a family and be left such a giant reminder. So many places they must have had memories together in. How was that just erased. He knew that Victor was different, that he didn't have the same way of being as most but even so, he was a human. Of course he must have hurt over it.

"Victor, are you often lonely?"

Victor punched in the code to disable the alarm system and then opened the door for them, walking inside with Lucius. He didn't bother hanging around the foyer, instead heading straight for the kitchen, because he was hungry and he wanted to make sure his cook really had cooked something that Lucius would be able to eat. "Lonely?"

It wasn't really a difficult question, but Victor still wasn't quite sure how to answer that. "Dunno. I'm pretty used to being alone. I can just have people over."

Like Lucius now. "You like lasagne, right?"

"I do, yes." Lucius nodded as he came into the kitchen, amazed by how the kitchen alone was double his whole apartment. It was massive! He looked around and enjoyed how bright and clean it was, he didn't have to worry about the hygiene standards here. "There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. You can be alone and be quite content, I am often. Or you can be in a room full of people and feel entirely alone."

He had experienced that a few times in his life, being in a room with people he should be able to connect with and feeling nothing but a yearning to leave.

Leaning on the counter, he watched Victor intently. "Does it feel any different here, even if you invite everyone you know here or you are alone?"

"Are you experimenting again?" Sounded like it. Victor looked back at Lucius and tried not to get distracted by how he could definitely smell garlic bread. Now there was something good to focus on. But then, so was looking at Lucius. He leaned in and kissed Lucius's cheek, because they were dating, so he got to. He wouldn't go any further without Lucius inviting it, but he felt cheek kissing was innocent enough. "I'm a unicorn, Lucius. but I don't feel lonely with you around."

That much was actually true. He turned away from him to serve the food, with the preheated plates and everything else ready in the oven. "You wanna eat in here?"

"Sure, I like it here." Victor kissed very nicely. Every time he did, his heart raced - he reached out, checked his pulse and waited a minute, silently making note of it's elevation. Definitely a positive response. He liked when Victor was touching him or kissing him, way more positive than when girls tried to kiss and touch him. Not that he hated it, he just didn't feel anything. He felt a lot about this.

Coming over, he sat on one of the stood in the kitchen and looked at the nice, clean counter. It was very pleasant. Black marble - how nice. "Sorry that I experiment, I find you very interesting. As you say, you are indeed a unicorn. Unique. One of a kind."

Victor set a plate down in front of Lucius and then sat down next to him, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't mind your experiments. As you said, it's not a bad thing. Experimenting."

He knew that. He didn't mind Lucius studying him, it felt pretty nice, having Lucius's focus. "You talk to me a lot more than the others. Guess that's the biggest difference."

If he compared the girls he had dated with Lucius. He didn't really think it was a gender thing. "You are unique too."

"I overthink. I know I shouldn't, I believe people who think too much are the least happy but I don't really want to turn my brain off." Lucius watched Victor curiously, knowing he had too many questions to ask and not enough time, courage or need to. "I never really paid any attention to you so I've never thought about you much, now I can't stop. This happens, I like to know people well if I know them. Then I can understand them and anticipate their quirks and moods."

Like how he expected Oswald to often be in a bad mood but it was never really his fault, how he expected Edward's moods to change depending on what Lee did or what Jim said that day or how his father was.

"I'm bad at understanding people. I have to put more work in than most. I can infere nothing from a look or a tone."

"I don't think other people are better at understanding than you, they just think less about it, so they can go with whatever they first believe. Besides, you care more than other people. No one wants to know me." Not that he was interested in people knowing him, but he still knew that to be true. People didn't really give a damn about him, they just knew his name, reputation and that he had money. Mostly the money, he imagined. Some liked the thrill. He wasn't insulted, he just knew it was true.

"I like to know you. I think about how smart and handsome you are. It's good. Knowing you."

"Thank you. I was unaware that I was handsome but it's good to know." He couldn't say it was a bad thing, quite the opposite. He supposed most people who wanted to date for a week weren't looking to understand or fall in love with Victor Zsasz, he understood that but he didn't see why it wouldn't be a key part of this experience. To him, he was going to find himself through Victor Zsasz. Therefore, he wanted to understand Victor Zsasz.

"You can ask me questions, if you would like. I'm not against sharing on my side either. I just don't know how interesting I am." Compared to a rich playboy, anyway.

"You are very interesting. You like to read books and when you focus on them, you can blend out the entire world. That's cool." He had witnessed it yesterday. "You try to be good to everyone. Most people never bother. Not the way you do. You don't do it for an audience."

Victor knew he wasn't smart the way Lucius was and he wasn't the most observant either, but he had been observing Lucius lately. There was a lot to learn about him. "I think you're wrong though. About how you are different from other people. You are different, but not the way you say you are."

"When I was a child, my mother told me I would always be different and people would not always be kind so it was important that I try to learn how to be kind myself. To show people how." And he had obsessively taught himself everything he could to make him as kind, empathic and caring as possible. He liked to understand people, why they did what they did and where their hurt came from so he could try to lessen it.

"I'm am not perfect but I want to be good." That was all that mattered to him. He just wanted to be someone people could rely on. "I believe you are smarter than you give yourself credit. I also think you are very wise."

"Your mother sounds neat." She truly did. It was good that Lucius had a mother like that, although Victor did kind of suspect there was a bit more going on, just based on where Lucius lived and some stories he'd told. Still, he seemed to love her and she seemed nice. That was good. "Dunno. But you're real smart, so if you think so, I guess I am."

He grinned and took a bite of garlic bread before shrugging. "My parents would have liked you. They liked good people. And peace and love and stuff." Worse things to like, he supposed. "Parents make a big difference. Like with your friends. Or with Roman Sionis."

Didn't need to know them well to figure that one out.

"It's true, I believe good parents can form good children, uncontrollable elements aside. For example, Oswald and I both have very loving mothers but Oswald's mother is controlling and overprotective, he was very dependent on her in an unhealthy way." He was glad he didn't have that, seemed very unsettling. Very creepy. Sometimes Edward told him things that he did not want to know about them. "Edward is very similar to me but ... sadly, his father is a bad man."

And so, Edward had a lot more going on that made him angry and bitter. Lucius didn't know how to fix that so he just tried to make it easier. "I am the most well adjusted of my friends because I have good parents. Well, a good mother. I do not see my father. He left."

Lucius felt that was for the best. "You seem very well raised as well. As you say, compared to Roman, your parents seemed to have a better grasp on reality. You are more down to earth."

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