asmilk | Date me, Victor Zsasz

"Thank you. I was unaware that I was handsome but it's good to know." He couldn't say it was a bad thing, quite the opposite. He supposed most people who wanted to date for a week weren't looking to understand or fall in love with Victor Zsasz, he understood that but he didn't see why it wouldn't be a key part of this experience. To him, he was going to find himself through Victor Zsasz. Therefore, he wanted to understand Victor Zsasz.

"You can ask me questions, if you would like. I'm not against sharing on my side either. I just don't know how interesting I am." Compared to a rich playboy, anyway.

"You are very interesting. You like to read books and when you focus on them, you can blend out the entire world. That's cool." He had witnessed it yesterday. "You try to be good to everyone. Most people never bother. Not the way you do. You don't do it for an audience."

Victor knew he wasn't smart the way Lucius was and he wasn't the most observant either, but he had been observing Lucius lately. There was a lot to learn about him. "I think you're wrong though. About how you are different from other people. You are different, but not the way you say you are."

"When I was a child, my mother told me I would always be different and people would not always be kind so it was important that I try to learn how to be kind myself. To show people how." And he had obsessively taught himself everything he could to make him as kind, empathic and caring as possible. He liked to understand people, why they did what they did and where their hurt came from so he could try to lessen it.

"I'm am not perfect but I want to be good." That was all that mattered to him. He just wanted to be someone people could rely on. "I believe you are smarter than you give yourself credit. I also think you are very wise."

"Your mother sounds neat." She truly did. It was good that Lucius had a mother like that, although Victor did kind of suspect there was a bit more going on, just based on where Lucius lived and some stories he'd told. Still, he seemed to love her and she seemed nice. That was good. "Dunno. But you're real smart, so if you think so, I guess I am."

He grinned and took a bite of garlic bread before shrugging. "My parents would have liked you. They liked good people. And peace and love and stuff." Worse things to like, he supposed. "Parents make a big difference. Like with your friends. Or with Roman Sionis."

Didn't need to know them well to figure that one out.

"It's true, I believe good parents can form good children, uncontrollable elements aside. For example, Oswald and I both have very loving mothers but Oswald's mother is controlling and overprotective, he was very dependent on her in an unhealthy way." He was glad he didn't have that, seemed very unsettling. Very creepy. Sometimes Edward told him things that he did not want to know about them. "Edward is very similar to me but ... sadly, his father is a bad man."

And so, Edward had a lot more going on that made him angry and bitter. Lucius didn't know how to fix that so he just tried to make it easier. "I am the most well adjusted of my friends because I have good parents. Well, a good mother. I do not see my father. He left."

Lucius felt that was for the best. "You seem very well raised as well. As you say, compared to Roman, your parents seemed to have a better grasp on reality. You are more down to earth."

"My parents weren't that actively involved. They were fun though, I guess. Sweet." That was mostly it. "Don't remember then ever telling me 'no'."

He wondered whether they even could, they certainly hadn't wanted to. He couldn't blame them, seemed like a fun approach to child rearing. "I had some strict nannies though." That kind of balanced things out, it wasn't as if he had to raise himself. Besides, he ultimately liked when things were under control, including himself and his emotions and actions.

"Roman's-- You can't judge him. He was dropped on the head." He knew it sounded like a joke. "No, really. He was. They didn't wanna sue the doctor or get him treatment so people wouldn't find out. That's why Roman's off. Also, his parents suck." Evidently.

"I see. I was not aware. Did he ever have seizures? Constant headaches? Light sensitive? Memory issues? He may have brain damage. That might be worth getting looked at, it can cause problems down the line." Not that it wasn't already causing issues. Lucius couldn't help it, now his mind was racing with symptoms, ideas for treatments, things that would help to calm him down. He couldn't help it, his brain was just wired to solve problems.

"He has a better excuse than most but I find that a lot of people who are violent have something wrong with them. I assume Sea also has his own set of issues that causes him to enjoy hurting." He didn't think that was ever normal.

"I dunno Sea. Roman found him. I've always known Roman. Roman's off." And he cared for Roman, even if it was difficult to think of him as a friend. He was a bit too much someone he had to take care of for that. Victor wasn't sure how to explain that. "All I know about Sea is that he's from the Narrows and that Roman thinks everything about him is beautiful."

Which honestly wasn't the best recommendation. "But yeah, I think Roman's got all of that. Can't do much about it though, I mean, he'd be insulted and his parents wouldn't approve."

Tragic, really. Victor shrugged and then smiled at Lucius. "You wanted to see the library, right?"

"Seems like Sea is a worrying enabler... I would recommend that if you wish to talk to Roman, perhaps turn the lights down and do it one on one so there is nothing to agitate." Well, besides the words, he guessed. He finished what he was eating and then looked at Victor, nodding eagerly. The library was a much nicer topic of conversation.

Books. A whole library. A place to store so much knowledge. His eyes literally lit up and he smiled without realising.

"I would very much like to see your library."

"Cool." Victor looked at Lucius for a few, his chest feeling a little tight. He really did make the world brighter with his smile, he wondered if he knew. He leaned in to kiss his cheek once more and then he took his hand in his, threading their fingers together as he walked out the room and down a hallway.

"It's all organized. I think by topic and then by author? Something like that. You can probably figure it out faster than I can." He didn't care that much. He just cared that Lucius cared.

Finally he opened the right door, one of several doors that led into the room. It was an impressive library, a big room lined with book cases that went up to the ceiling, several ladders to actually be able to reach the higher up books, because there were a lot of them and it had a high ceiling. "I think my father collected for a while. Dunno. They liked collecting stuff."

"Woah. It truly is a library. It's remarkable." Lucius walked around it a few times, looking at the books, the titles and the genres, just needing to take it all in. It was so big, he could spend a whole year in here. He could live here and be a happy man. He paused at the chemistry books and skated his fingers over some of the volumes, reading the names under his breath.

When he got to the natural history, he counted under his breath, just trying to see how many rare books he could find. So many first editions.

"Metamorphosis insectorum Surinamensium." Lucius read aloud as he pulled it out and showed Victor with an amused smile. "I do like insects a lot. Going by the size of this section and the uniqueness of the books, it seems like your father was very interested in biodiversity."

"Yeah, possible." Victor had taken a seat on the leather couch at the centre of the room, looking at Lucius more than he looked at the room. He didn't have a fascination with books. But he did like watching Lucius be fascinated. "I don't even know that that is. Like... Diverse bio? Dunno."

And he'd not have cared either, if it wasn't for how he liked when Victor explained stuff to him.

"Biodiversity is essentially all plant and animal life. So this book is about insects whereas this one here, it's about animals. See, mammals." Lucius showed him and then set both down and looked upwards, spying some works from Darwin. "Did you know that Charles Darwin, the man who posed the theory of evolution, was nearly beaten to publishing his theory because he was too busy writing about barnacles? His life work was several long and admittedly tedious volumes on barnacles."

And he could see that they had a few volumes here. "Myself and Edward once spent a summer memorising barnacles facts and we had to share every time we met up. Oswald hated us that summer."

"Huh." Victor wondered whether it was too late to ask what a barnacle was. Maybe. He didn't want to embarrass himself. "Sounds interesting." Even if he wasn't quite sure what a barnacle was, he liked that Lucius did stuff like that. It was fun. "So, I guess Oswald isn't smart like you two, yeah?"

He was starting to get the picture. "I don't really use this place much, so, y'know. You can have it." Well, that sounded weird. "Access, whenever you want. You know how to appreciate books."

"Oswald is not academic but he is very smart in his own way. He can play people." It was quite unsettling to watch but Oswald was more of a big picture guy. He didn't care about how it happened or why it happened, he just cared if it'd benefit him and if he could exploit it. "He has a quick mind but not for facts and figures. Hence why he's always scrapping a C."

Lucius pulled out a book and looked it over before pausing and looking up at Victor, surprised by the offer. "You would give me access? I appreciate that. Thank you, Victor." He wasn't sure how he'd ever get here without a ride but he liked the open offer. "You are a very wonderful boyfriend."

Just saying. He kind of was.

"I like our relationship. I didn't care much for the others." One way or the other. Not as if they bothered him either, exactly, although it was fun to have a change of pace from the usual. Very different dates than he had been having as of late.

"Are you free tomorrow, Lucius?" He crossed his legs, watching him. "You like museums, right?"

"I like this too." He hoped they would stay friends after but he knew there were no strings on this so he didn't want to push for anything. By sunday, he could suggest but he wouldn't demand. "I do like museums and I will be free until 9pm." He was curious which museum they'd go to, he liked all the ones he'd visited so far so he didn't consider any a disappointment. "On Thursday, take me somewhere you enjoy. It's a relationship, I would like to experience what you like too."

"Huh." Victor thought about what he enjoyed. Hard to say, honestly. "See? You are unique." Maybe that was a girl and boy thing, although he would still assume it was more about Lucius being Lucius. None of the girlfriends ever suggested that they do something Victor wanted. Which made things easier, honestly. "I'll try and come up with something I enjoy by Thursday."

he shrugged. "I enjoy watching you read. It's nice."

"I'm glad. Shall we read together?" Lucius handed Victor a book that was mostly images with names under them that he could zone out with and avoid reading if he didn't want to but would give him an excuse to sit with him and not feel off. Lucius sat beside him and then shuffled a little closer, opening a book with a small smile on his face. "Tell me if you need me."

"M-hm." Victor shifted along the sofa closer to Lucius and looked at him, then gently pushed down the book Lucius was holding. "I need you."

That said he kissed his cheek for the third time, smiling a little. "There. Better."

With that done, he let Lucius focus on his book.

Date me, Victor Zsasz

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