"It is very .. affluent here." He looked around and then tilted his head back, looking at the estate ahead of them with wide eyes. This place was very expensive. Stupidly expensive. It was massive, well designed and had a lot of land surrounding it. He looked down at his scuffed trainers and felt very underdressed. Maybe he should have worn his best shoes and shirt.
"Do you live alone, Victor?" He always spoke of his parents in past tense and he vaguely recalled rumours of Victor Zsasz's parents passing but he wanted to hear it from Victor himself.
"Uh-huh. There's staff sometimes, but they shouldn't be around now." He knew the cook would have made something, since he asked, and one or two of the maids might be on the premises, but probably in their own quarters, so it wasn't all that relevant. He vaguely knew who he had on payroll, but it wasn't as if he cared that much whether they actually did their jobs. Luckily, they were reliable, his parents had never been around much anyway, so they were used to handling a vacated house.
He got out the car and walked around, opening the door for Lucius and holding a hand out to him. "I know it's big, but don't worry. I'll make sure you can't get lost."
"That is appreciated." Accepting the hand, he tried not to blush as he held on tight. Walking beside Victor, he looked around the estate and tried to work out how it would feel to lose a family and be left such a giant reminder. So many places they must have had memories together in. How was that just erased. He knew that Victor was different, that he didn't have the same way of being as most but even so, he was a human. Of course he must have hurt over it.
Victor punched in the code to disable the alarm system and then opened the door for them, walking inside with Lucius. He didn't bother hanging around the foyer, instead heading straight for the kitchen, because he was hungry and he wanted to make sure his cook really had cooked something that Lucius would be able to eat. "Lonely?"
It wasn't really a difficult question, but Victor still wasn't quite sure how to answer that. "Dunno. I'm pretty used to being alone. I can just have people over."
"I do, yes." Lucius nodded as he came into the kitchen, amazed by how the kitchen alone was double his whole apartment. It was massive! He looked around and enjoyed how bright and clean it was, he didn't have to worry about the hygiene standards here. "There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. You can be alone and be quite content, I am often. Or you can be in a room full of people and feel entirely alone."
He had experienced that a few times in his life, being in a room with people he should be able to connect with and feeling nothing but a yearning to leave.
Leaning on the counter, he watched Victor intently. "Does it feel any different here, even if you invite everyone you know here or you are alone?"
"Are you experimenting again?" Sounded like it. Victor looked back at Lucius and tried not to get distracted by how he could definitely smell garlic bread. Now there was something good to focus on. But then, so was looking at Lucius. He leaned in and kissed Lucius's cheek, because they were dating, so he got to. He wouldn't go any further without Lucius inviting it, but he felt cheek kissing was innocent enough. "I'm a unicorn, Lucius. but I don't feel lonely with you around."
That much was actually true. He turned away from him to serve the food, with the preheated plates and everything else ready in the oven. "You wanna eat in here?"
"Sure, I like it here." Victor kissed very nicely. Every time he did, his heart raced - he reached out, checked his pulse and waited a minute, silently making note of it's elevation. Definitely a positive response. He liked when Victor was touching him or kissing him, way more positive than when girls tried to kiss and touch him. Not that he hated it, he just didn't feel anything. He felt a lot about this.
Coming over, he sat on one of the stood in the kitchen and looked at the nice, clean counter. It was very pleasant. Black marble - how nice. "Sorry that I experiment, I find you very interesting. As you say, you are indeed a unicorn. Unique. One of a kind."
Victor set a plate down in front of Lucius and then sat down next to him, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't mind your experiments. As you said, it's not a bad thing. Experimenting."
He knew that. He didn't mind Lucius studying him, it felt pretty nice, having Lucius's focus. "You talk to me a lot more than the others. Guess that's the biggest difference."
If he compared the girls he had dated with Lucius. He didn't really think it was a gender thing. "You are unique too."
"I overthink. I know I shouldn't, I believe people who think too much are the least happy but I don't really want to turn my brain off." Lucius watched Victor curiously, knowing he had too many questions to ask and not enough time, courage or need to. "I never really paid any attention to you so I've never thought about you much, now I can't stop. This happens, I like to know people well if I know them. Then I can understand them and anticipate their quirks and moods."
Like how he expected Oswald to often be in a bad mood but it was never really his fault, how he expected Edward's moods to change depending on what Lee did or what Jim said that day or how his father was.
"I'm bad at understanding people. I have to put more work in than most. I can infere nothing from a look or a tone."
"I don't think other people are better at understanding than you, they just think less about it, so they can go with whatever they first believe. Besides, you care more than other people. No one wants to know me." Not that he was interested in people knowing him, but he still knew that to be true. People didn't really give a damn about him, they just knew his name, reputation and that he had money. Mostly the money, he imagined. Some liked the thrill. He wasn't insulted, he just knew it was true.
"I like to know you. I think about how smart and handsome you are. It's good. Knowing you."
"Thank you. I was unaware that I was handsome but it's good to know." He couldn't say it was a bad thing, quite the opposite. He supposed most people who wanted to date for a week weren't looking to understand or fall in love with Victor Zsasz, he understood that but he didn't see why it wouldn't be a key part of this experience. To him, he was going to find himself through Victor Zsasz. Therefore, he wanted to understand Victor Zsasz.
"You can ask me questions, if you would like. I'm not against sharing on my side either. I just don't know how interesting I am." Compared to a rich playboy, anyway.
"You are very interesting. You like to read books and when you focus on them, you can blend out the entire world. That's cool." He had witnessed it yesterday. "You try to be good to everyone. Most people never bother. Not the way you do. You don't do it for an audience."
Victor knew he wasn't smart the way Lucius was and he wasn't the most observant either, but he had been observing Lucius lately. There was a lot to learn about him. "I think you're wrong though. About how you are different from other people. You are different, but not the way you say you are."
"When I was a child, my mother told me I would always be different and people would not always be kind so it was important that I try to learn how to be kind myself. To show people how." And he had obsessively taught himself everything he could to make him as kind, empathic and caring as possible. He liked to understand people, why they did what they did and where their hurt came from so he could try to lessen it.
"I'm am not perfect but I want to be good." That was all that mattered to him. He just wanted to be someone people could rely on. "I believe you are smarter than you give yourself credit. I also think you are very wise."
"Your mother sounds neat." She truly did. It was good that Lucius had a mother like that, although Victor did kind of suspect there was a bit more going on, just based on where Lucius lived and some stories he'd told. Still, he seemed to love her and she seemed nice. That was good. "Dunno. But you're real smart, so if you think so, I guess I am."
He grinned and took a bite of garlic bread before shrugging. "My parents would have liked you. They liked good people. And peace and love and stuff." Worse things to like, he supposed. "Parents make a big difference. Like with your friends. Or with Roman Sionis."
Didn't need to know them well to figure that one out.
"It's true, I believe good parents can form good children, uncontrollable elements aside. For example, Oswald and I both have very loving mothers but Oswald's mother is controlling and overprotective, he was very dependent on her in an unhealthy way." He was glad he didn't have that, seemed very unsettling. Very creepy. Sometimes Edward told him things that he did not want to know about them. "Edward is very similar to me but ... sadly, his father is a bad man."
And so, Edward had a lot more going on that made him angry and bitter. Lucius didn't know how to fix that so he just tried to make it easier. "I am the most well adjusted of my friends because I have good parents. Well, a good mother. I do not see my father. He left."
Lucius felt that was for the best. "You seem very well raised as well. As you say, compared to Roman, your parents seemed to have a better grasp on reality. You are more down to earth."
"My parents weren't that actively involved. They were fun though, I guess. Sweet." That was mostly it. "Don't remember then ever telling me 'no'."
He wondered whether they even could, they certainly hadn't wanted to. He couldn't blame them, seemed like a fun approach to child rearing. "I had some strict nannies though." That kind of balanced things out, it wasn't as if he had to raise himself. Besides, he ultimately liked when things were under control, including himself and his emotions and actions.
"Roman's-- You can't judge him. He was dropped on the head." He knew it sounded like a joke. "No, really. He was. They didn't wanna sue the doctor or get him treatment so people wouldn't find out. That's why Roman's off. Also, his parents suck." Evidently.
"I see. I was not aware. Did he ever have seizures? Constant headaches? Light sensitive? Memory issues? He may have brain damage. That might be worth getting looked at, it can cause problems down the line." Not that it wasn't already causing issues. Lucius couldn't help it, now his mind was racing with symptoms, ideas for treatments, things that would help to calm him down. He couldn't help it, his brain was just wired to solve problems.
"He has a better excuse than most but I find that a lot of people who are violent have something wrong with them. I assume Sea also has his own set of issues that causes him to enjoy hurting." He didn't think that was ever normal.
"I dunno Sea. Roman found him. I've always known Roman. Roman's off." And he cared for Roman, even if it was difficult to think of him as a friend. He was a bit too much someone he had to take care of for that. Victor wasn't sure how to explain that. "All I know about Sea is that he's from the Narrows and that Roman thinks everything about him is beautiful."
Which honestly wasn't the best recommendation. "But yeah, I think Roman's got all of that. Can't do much about it though, I mean, he'd be insulted and his parents wouldn't approve."
Tragic, really. Victor shrugged and then smiled at Lucius. "You wanted to see the library, right?"
"Seems like Sea is a worrying enabler... I would recommend that if you wish to talk to Roman, perhaps turn the lights down and do it one on one so there is nothing to agitate." Well, besides the words, he guessed. He finished what he was eating and then looked at Victor, nodding eagerly. The library was a much nicer topic of conversation.
Books. A whole library. A place to store so much knowledge. His eyes literally lit up and he smiled without realising.
"Cool." Victor looked at Lucius for a few, his chest feeling a little tight. He really did make the world brighter with his smile, he wondered if he knew. He leaned in to kiss his cheek once more and then he took his hand in his, threading their fingers together as he walked out the room and down a hallway.
"It's all organized. I think by topic and then by author? Something like that. You can probably figure it out faster than I can." He didn't care that much. He just cared that Lucius cared.
Finally he opened the right door, one of several doors that led into the room. It was an impressive library, a big room lined with book cases that went up to the ceiling, several ladders to actually be able to reach the higher up books, because there were a lot of them and it had a high ceiling. "I think my father collected for a while. Dunno. They liked collecting stuff."
"Woah. It truly is a library. It's remarkable." Lucius walked around it a few times, looking at the books, the titles and the genres, just needing to take it all in. It was so big, he could spend a whole year in here. He could live here and be a happy man. He paused at the chemistry books and skated his fingers over some of the volumes, reading the names under his breath.
When he got to the natural history, he counted under his breath, just trying to see how many rare books he could find. So many first editions.
"Metamorphosis insectorum Surinamensium." Lucius read aloud as he pulled it out and showed Victor with an amused smile. "I do like insects a lot. Going by the size of this section and the uniqueness of the books, it seems like your father was very interested in biodiversity."
"Yeah, possible." Victor had taken a seat on the leather couch at the centre of the room, looking at Lucius more than he looked at the room. He didn't have a fascination with books. But he did like watching Lucius be fascinated. "I don't even know that that is. Like... Diverse bio? Dunno."
And he'd not have cared either, if it wasn't for how he liked when Victor explained stuff to him.
"Biodiversity is essentially all plant and animal life. So this book is about insects whereas this one here, it's about animals. See, mammals." Lucius showed him and then set both down and looked upwards, spying some works from Darwin. "Did you know that Charles Darwin, the man who posed the theory of evolution, was nearly beaten to publishing his theory because he was too busy writing about barnacles? His life work was several long and admittedly tedious volumes on barnacles."
And he could see that they had a few volumes here. "Myself and Edward once spent a summer memorising barnacles facts and we had to share every time we met up. Oswald hated us that summer."
"Huh." Victor wondered whether it was too late to ask what a barnacle was. Maybe. He didn't want to embarrass himself. "Sounds interesting." Even if he wasn't quite sure what a barnacle was, he liked that Lucius did stuff like that. It was fun. "So, I guess Oswald isn't smart like you two, yeah?"
He was starting to get the picture. "I don't really use this place much, so, y'know. You can have it." Well, that sounded weird. "Access, whenever you want. You know how to appreciate books."
"Oswald is not academic but he is very smart in his own way. He can play people." It was quite unsettling to watch but Oswald was more of a big picture guy. He didn't care about how it happened or why it happened, he just cared if it'd benefit him and if he could exploit it. "He has a quick mind but not for facts and figures. Hence why he's always scrapping a C."
Lucius pulled out a book and looked it over before pausing and looking up at Victor, surprised by the offer. "You would give me access? I appreciate that. Thank you, Victor." He wasn't sure how he'd ever get here without a ride but he liked the open offer. "You are a very wonderful boyfriend."
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"Do you live alone, Victor?" He always spoke of his parents in past tense and he vaguely recalled rumours of Victor Zsasz's parents passing but he wanted to hear it from Victor himself.
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He got out the car and walked around, opening the door for Lucius and holding a hand out to him. "I know it's big, but don't worry. I'll make sure you can't get lost."
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"Victor, are you often lonely?"
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It wasn't really a difficult question, but Victor still wasn't quite sure how to answer that. "Dunno. I'm pretty used to being alone. I can just have people over."
Like Lucius now. "You like lasagne, right?"
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He had experienced that a few times in his life, being in a room with people he should be able to connect with and feeling nothing but a yearning to leave.
Leaning on the counter, he watched Victor intently. "Does it feel any different here, even if you invite everyone you know here or you are alone?"
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That much was actually true. He turned away from him to serve the food, with the preheated plates and everything else ready in the oven. "You wanna eat in here?"
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Coming over, he sat on one of the stood in the kitchen and looked at the nice, clean counter. It was very pleasant. Black marble - how nice. "Sorry that I experiment, I find you very interesting. As you say, you are indeed a unicorn. Unique. One of a kind."
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He knew that. He didn't mind Lucius studying him, it felt pretty nice, having Lucius's focus. "You talk to me a lot more than the others. Guess that's the biggest difference."
If he compared the girls he had dated with Lucius. He didn't really think it was a gender thing. "You are unique too."
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Like how he expected Oswald to often be in a bad mood but it was never really his fault, how he expected Edward's moods to change depending on what Lee did or what Jim said that day or how his father was.
"I'm bad at understanding people. I have to put more work in than most. I can infere nothing from a look or a tone."
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"I like to know you. I think about how smart and handsome you are. It's good. Knowing you."
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"You can ask me questions, if you would like. I'm not against sharing on my side either. I just don't know how interesting I am." Compared to a rich playboy, anyway.
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Victor knew he wasn't smart the way Lucius was and he wasn't the most observant either, but he had been observing Lucius lately. There was a lot to learn about him. "I think you're wrong though. About how you are different from other people. You are different, but not the way you say you are."
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"I'm am not perfect but I want to be good." That was all that mattered to him. He just wanted to be someone people could rely on. "I believe you are smarter than you give yourself credit. I also think you are very wise."
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He grinned and took a bite of garlic bread before shrugging. "My parents would have liked you. They liked good people. And peace and love and stuff." Worse things to like, he supposed. "Parents make a big difference. Like with your friends. Or with Roman Sionis."
Didn't need to know them well to figure that one out.
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And so, Edward had a lot more going on that made him angry and bitter. Lucius didn't know how to fix that so he just tried to make it easier. "I am the most well adjusted of my friends because I have good parents. Well, a good mother. I do not see my father. He left."
Lucius felt that was for the best. "You seem very well raised as well. As you say, compared to Roman, your parents seemed to have a better grasp on reality. You are more down to earth."
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He wondered whether they even could, they certainly hadn't wanted to. He couldn't blame them, seemed like a fun approach to child rearing. "I had some strict nannies though." That kind of balanced things out, it wasn't as if he had to raise himself. Besides, he ultimately liked when things were under control, including himself and his emotions and actions.
"Roman's-- You can't judge him. He was dropped on the head." He knew it sounded like a joke. "No, really. He was. They didn't wanna sue the doctor or get him treatment so people wouldn't find out. That's why Roman's off. Also, his parents suck." Evidently.
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"He has a better excuse than most but I find that a lot of people who are violent have something wrong with them. I assume Sea also has his own set of issues that causes him to enjoy hurting." He didn't think that was ever normal.
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Which honestly wasn't the best recommendation. "But yeah, I think Roman's got all of that. Can't do much about it though, I mean, he'd be insulted and his parents wouldn't approve."
Tragic, really. Victor shrugged and then smiled at Lucius. "You wanted to see the library, right?"
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Books. A whole library. A place to store so much knowledge. His eyes literally lit up and he smiled without realising.
"I would very much like to see your library."
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"It's all organized. I think by topic and then by author? Something like that. You can probably figure it out faster than I can." He didn't care that much. He just cared that Lucius cared.
Finally he opened the right door, one of several doors that led into the room. It was an impressive library, a big room lined with book cases that went up to the ceiling, several ladders to actually be able to reach the higher up books, because there were a lot of them and it had a high ceiling. "I think my father collected for a while. Dunno. They liked collecting stuff."
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When he got to the natural history, he counted under his breath, just trying to see how many rare books he could find. So many first editions.
"Metamorphosis insectorum Surinamensium." Lucius read aloud as he pulled it out and showed Victor with an amused smile. "I do like insects a lot. Going by the size of this section and the uniqueness of the books, it seems like your father was very interested in biodiversity."
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And he'd not have cared either, if it wasn't for how he liked when Victor explained stuff to him.
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And he could see that they had a few volumes here. "Myself and Edward once spent a summer memorising barnacles facts and we had to share every time we met up. Oswald hated us that summer."
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He was starting to get the picture. "I don't really use this place much, so, y'know. You can have it." Well, that sounded weird. "Access, whenever you want. You know how to appreciate books."
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Lucius pulled out a book and looked it over before pausing and looking up at Victor, surprised by the offer. "You would give me access? I appreciate that. Thank you, Victor." He wasn't sure how he'd ever get here without a ride but he liked the open offer. "You are a very wonderful boyfriend."
Just saying. He kind of was.
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